Aku tahu ini semua tak adil,
Aku tahu ini sudah terjadi,
Mau bilang apa aku pun tak sanggup,
Airmata pun tak lagi mau menitis....
Excerpt from a song called 'Sandiwara Cinta" by an Indonesian Band called Repvblik....This song just hit me straight to my heart, I know it sounds stupid and absurd but i do cry listening to this lame song. Maybe my heart is not properly heal, i'm just putting on a brave face for tomorrow... Ya Allah how i miss her a lot :(
It Is Never Fair
Sometimes...
Sometimes you just feel tired, feel weak and when you feel weak, you feel like you just wanna give up. But you gotta search within you. You gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength
and pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up, and not to be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.
Hold On To Your Hope
Life may not be going well for me now, but as long as we are here, as long as you press forward, anything is possible. Hold on to that hope....
As Long As I Live
As long as i live, i will sing your name in my dreams,
As long as i live, this sorrow will never ease away,
As long as i live, this heart of mine will never heal,
As long as i live, i will always love you,
Always have and always will,
As i rest my faith and my hope to Allah....
May Allah be merciful and listen to my prayers.... Insyaallah
Empty Room
Feeling much better today, glance at her beautiful smile... a smile could melt even the coldest glacier, hahaha now i'm selling too much. Her smile just warms up my soul and heart, the world is perfect in that moment :)
Watching 'Warm Bodies', one of the most suprising movie this year i must say! Love it! Now watching SRK movie entitiled 'Jab Tak Hai Jaan'...kinda good so far.
Well, i miss her dearly...goodnight wherever you are....
Wake Me Up When September Ends
It's been a year since I've posted anything here...well i thought i was finally happy and broke free from my eternal chain that have been dragging me down all these years. Yet i was wrong, life threw me a curveball once again. Something inside this old heart of mine has died...never i thought it would be as painful and excruciating as this. I honestly think i could never ever recover after this again, just a part of me has died forever and vanish.
Sometimes it feels like nothing in this world is worth fighting or dying for.... does the pain weigh out the pride? I really feel empty and hurt inside. I'm not the type of person who gives up easily but this time, this time it really takes a huge toll to my poor old heart.
Nothing's ever built to last i guess, just wishful thinking perhaps in my part. I just spent all my energy and soul this time around as my faith walks on broken glass. I guess Allah has a better design or plans for me ( comforting myself ). I have to keep my chin up, keep hoping and try to endure this storm.
“When you have lost hope, you have lost everything. And when you think all is lost, when all is dire and bleak, there is always hope.” - I wish i could believe this.
Wake me up when September ends....
Bangsar Blues
New job, new possibilities... and new dreams. Bangsar is now my new anchor and place to reek havoc!
Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the cute kitten, the small child and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams.
After A Long Absence....
It's been one and a half year since i've spilled my thoughts on this blog....
Same old life...nothing really exciting nor happening happened to me..still searching for that elusive happiness
Still teaching...still paying bills...still chubby...hehehe
Monday Blues...
Woke up late today...around 8am, got class @9 am...after shower had a 'nasi lemak kerang' my dad bought. F***ing hell KL's infamous traffic jam is...worse by the day....came late around 930am to class.
Saw the new BMW 3 Series Coupe....marvellous!!! One of the most beautiful car i've ever seen on the road...( apart from the Maserati and the 911 ). Hmmm....very tempting...still contemplating in buying a new car ( either a Merc CLK or a BMW 3 Coupe...or even a Mazda RX-8). Got a decent SUV already but like we all know... its human nature, never satisfied on what we have!!! Well....just a thought
Sunday Slumber...
Sunday morning...having a hearty breakfast - poached egg with hollaindaise sauce, sausages, grilled tomatoes with mashed potatoes perhaps....and good cup of joe!! Black with no sugar.... @Alexis, my place for solace and contemplation ( My ideal sunday..)
But!!!!...woke up, had a srambled egg - off straight to Flamingo....a forgotten routine from way back last year.....december that was. Back to Msd, now with an interesting bunch of students from all over Malaysia - Al Hambra classroom, never taught there before...miss the Colliseum thou...
Had a long night, meeting with the Xango distributor....had coffee with Ayoi, Aween, Ecane n friends @Oldtown Coffee at Yap Kwan Seng - The new Hideaway!!! 9 o'clock @nite went to fetch my " Ketua Pemuda " and straight to Wangsa Maju UMNO...Jentera Pilihanraya Wilayah Persekutuan gathering. Came late...so had to stand beside the podium in between Dato' Seri Najib's bodyguard...there were 11 of them i've counted. An exhilirating speech done by our second premier....well done! Had a supper with 2000 ' Jentera ' UMNO....manage to shook the hand of Dato' Seri Najib.....what an exhausting day!!!...
Well...back yo MSD..
Karaoke Nite With Friends...
Had a wonderful day yesterday...friday the 11th hehehe....It's my shopping day!!! I love spending
( or actually wasting ) money on useless extravagant and idiotic stuff....had myself a huge breakfast@Dome KLCC....accompanied by my best friend - Mr Ayoi.
At 11 0'clock..the shopping spree began....bought myself a nice Adidas special edition shoe..and not forgetting a couple of its overly expensive Muhammad Ali T-Shirt...hehehe went to Isetan, either an Oakley ( very hip, with chrome and red color frame ) or a RayBan ( The traditional cool and classic design )...opted for the RayBan...half a K.
My creme de la creme of all.. went to Cole Haan..and fell in love with this absurdly olive green
shoe...bought it after the soooo call SALE discount of 40%...RM 736. Hahahaha manage to spent
2K within 1hour....not a personal best. Missed the Jumaat prayer...was raining heavily outside.
Bought a Big Band CD - Artie Shaw Ultimate Collection. The Mighty Band of the 30's and 40's era...such a mesmerizing tune n music....
Made an appoinment with Princess Aween...hehehe her birthday - 3 series!!!
Had an excellent sirloin steak @ Suzys hahahaha ( seriously the steak was superb! )
With Ekin, Aween, Abg Fuad, Meme, Ayoi n Intan - went to Plaza Yow Chuan!!!
What else...Karaoke ( it means Empty Orchestra in Japanese )
Hahahaha did a duet with Ekin ( So cute )....peform my so called signature karaoke song - My Way...couldn't finish My Baby You ....ended with a horrible rendition of Senja Nan Merah ( On my part!!! )
Sleepy Saturday....
Woke up at around 4 in the morning...can't sleep.....lots of stuff clinging to my head!!
Went to 7 eleven, bought coffee and malta...( malta calms me down hehehe )
Back @home - on my pc - age of empires for 3 hours!!!!
Went to Flamingo...
ps- very very very sleepy.....
Freaky Friday...
Had a dreamless slumber last night...woke up late...didn't know what to wear, asked my maid to cook a "hearty" breakfast - 3 scrambled egg + 2 Sardine sandwich and a glass of cold milk not forgetting a huge mug of coffee... morning ' must have ' stimulant!!!
Damn!!!! Getting worst everyday ...what else - KL infamous traffic!!!!...Good luck to me...
p/s - Autumn atmosphere - KL style nowadays..
Rainy Day and Thursday
Woke up early today, around 6am...after a long night of working on the proposal...treat myself with a hot Milo and couples of biscuits..
Nothing like a cup of Milo ( in this case a jug!! ) to start the day....
and listening to the great oldies tune Working on The Groovy Thing by The Fifth Dimension to plant a smile on my face....
Well back to Flamingo..
Crazy Contemplation
Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. - Kahlil Gibran
Those are the beautiful and majestic words of the Great Kahlil...
Had a crazy and tiring week in Ampang...new scenery, new faces, new tasks...
Miss the good old days when life was simpler and slow yet full of happiness and fulfillment....
Just a scribble of the day...with a cup of warm tea to accompany...